A little back story and insight on my body of work titled,

Reflections: An introspective journey exploring identity

Coco Chanel is credited with saying, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” During the past year and a half, this statement has become very true for me as I’ve navigated my hair transformation journey, and what a trip it’s been! For most of my life my long hair has been a staple of my identity. I’ve never been one to cut, color, or really style my hair. I certainly wouldn’t have considered making a drastic change for the sake of fashion or on a whim. I prided myself on my long, natural hair and I always felt thankful for how easy it was to have it that way. 

In the 1994 film version of “Little Women”, (a favorite of my mother and me), Winona Ryder plays Jo March and the scene where she cuts her hair to sell it and Amy says, “Jo! How could you! Your one beauty!”, in response to the drastic change and loss of Jo’s hair, has always been relatable to me. I knew if I ever cut my hair off it would incite a similar response. 

For several years, at least as far back as 2012, I knew that I would one day make drastic changes to my hair for the sake of an artistic dream. I’ve always been interested in looking at my family’s photographs, seeing images of my relatives and ancestors, and fixating on the reflections of the people I come from, looking for resemblances of myself in their faces. This is what inspired me to create this series of “reflection” self-portraits, where I cut, color, and style my hair to reflect as various family members. 

Since beginning this project, I’ve been asked numerous times why I wouldn’t just use wigs rather than changing and ruining my hair. While I can understand the shock factor for my family and others, it was never an option in my mind that I would not fully commit to the process of transforming for these portraits. There was a deeper layer of connection and dedication to this process for me and I needed to go through this transition. As it turned out, I felt more connected to each of my relatives during the seasons of each of their hairstyles. I never could have imagined the full impact this process would have. 

I made my very first reflection self-portrait in 2012, where I posed reflecting as one of my great-great-grandmothers. Although I would continue to write about my ideas and plans for this portrait series I would not complete any additional reflections until 2016 when I made a concept photo of myself looking into a mirror, however, the timing wasn’t right it seemed. Finally in 2020, after a series of  significant shifts in my life, I found myself finally taking steps to bring my dream to life. I went through a divorce, moved back home, changed my name, and as a natural matter of course, I had to consider the core of my identity; who am I? The only way to answer this question for me was to reflect back on the people and the places I come from.

But first, the mermaid season! The mermaid reflection was not necessarily part of my initial vision for this portrait series. However, it all came into sharp focus after my friend and master costume designer, Mike Wade, gifted me my very own mermaid tail! It wasn’t  just a costume tail; it was a real swimming tail with a mono-fin! I had mentioned in probably more than one rambling conversation with him a pie-in-the-sky idea of dying my long hair to have “mermaid” hair. Mermaids traditionally have long flowing hair and it could be any color but, in the spirit of fantasy and creativity, I wanted my mermaid hair to be exotic and vibrantly colored. I will add as a side note; in the 1991 movie “Hook”, the very short but visually striking scene where the mermaids rescued Peter Pan, played by Robin Williams, made a lasting impression on me. Those mermaids with their brightly-colored hair were real to me. Also, in my early days of being a lifeguard and swim lesson instructor, I got a mermaid tattoo, which was inspired by artwork from a children’s book. My mermaid affinity is long-lived and, in essence, the mermaid reflection was a fantasy coming to life as I became a “real” mermaid with my aqua-toned hair and mermaid costume!

Honestly, though, the mermaid came to represent a much deeper significance of self-reflection. The tail was like my ruby slippers; it reminded me that, even though my ship had capsized and was sinking before my eyes, all I needed to do was remember that I needed to swim with the changing tide that was carrying me back home. There’s no place like home and that was right where I needed to be, with my people, where I came from. My friend gifted me the tail before I moved back home and it would be several months before I would create the shell-molded top and then have my hair transformed to complete the mermaid phase of my journey. In so many ways, the mermaid season ignited the spark of life my vision needed to become reality. I needed to first be a mermaid and this was the beginning of my beloved, yet necessary, hair sacrifice. My hair journey would be a reductive process and since my hair would need to be blonde for only one of my reflection portraits, that dictated the next phase. 

Below are a few shots from the beginning of my journey as I transformed for the mermaid season. 

©2023 Mary Jillian Hamrick Luther, all rights reserved.

Making the mermaid top

Reflections: An introspective journey exploring identity

I had fun with the challenge of making a mermaid top to go with my tail. I picked up a $2 swimsuit top from a thrift store to use as the base then used a large sea shell to mold my clear silicone shells from. I used wax paper each time to protect the shell as well as to hold the forms as I removed them. Then I added in gold leaf, glitter, and tinted acrylic glaze as I built up a couple of layers of silicone. I also used silicone as a glue to attach the forms to the top. It was just barely not too heavy but the finished top held up well as I swam around. I’ve included a few in-process pics. 

©2023 Mary Jillian Hamrick Luther, all rights reserved.

“Woodland Woman, reflecting as my natural earthly self”

Reflections: An introspective journey exploring identity

My self-reflective portrait titled, “Woodland Woman, reflecting as my natural earthly self”, is a part of my Reflections: An introspective journey exploring identity series. In my divergence from my familial reflections, I explored reflections of different parts of myself. This particular representation signifies my sense of connection to nature and the peacefulness I feel when I am in natural environments. During my season of transition and healing when I returned home to Etowah county, I spent quite a bit of time outdoors. Noccalula Falls and the surrounding area have always been a near and dear place in my life since childhood and it was there and on the Black Creek trails where I spent many hours running, hiking, praying, and meditating. So, naturally this was an appropriate place to create this portrait. 

I asked my long-time friend who is also an artist with a strong connection to nature and all things whimsical to assist me in the styling and photography for this portrait. I had been collecting feathers, lichen and other treasures from nature (my family’s yards), mostly while cutting grass, and I wanted to use these for symbolic adornment that also alludes to my propensity to observe and collect. 

Ashley Handy and I had an afternoon hike to the spot I’d scouted for my portrait and along the way we collected a few additional natural accessories which she fashioned into my crown. I wanted to share a few additional shots from that day and say thank you to Ashley for helping me make this vision come to life. Check out Ashley’s work on Instagram and Facebook @ahacollage.

©2023 Mary Jillian Hamrick Luther, all rights reserved.